Every mother worries about how to stay close and connected with her daughter, especially as they go through middle and high school. The good news is that there are ways to successfully stay connected, even if the relationship ebbs and flows. Each one of the following suggestions will help you and your daughter maintain a healthy, positive relationship.
1. Stop what you are doing at least once a day and LISTEN to her. Research shows that the number one need for girls for healthy development is to be listened to.
2. Volunteer at least once a year. Go somewhere like a shelter or inner city church. Even if your family is not well-off, it's important to show your daughter the benefits of giving back.
3. Go on a road trip. Show her how to use the GPS. Listen to her music. Make her listen to some of yours.
4. Apologize for something you did that hurt her feelings. Do it in a sincere fashion, one that shows you respect her feelings and see her as a person.
5. Tell her a story about a big mistake you made at her age. Do it not to teach a lesson but to show her that failure is ok.
6. Take a risk together. Whether it's entering a marathon or trying to raise money for a charity of your choice, try something that you're not sure you can do.
7. Ask her what her dreams are. Just listen as she talks. Dream with her.
8. Arrange for her father to take her out on her first "date." Make sure he sets the standard high so that she knows what it means to be treated with respect.
9. Go to a concert of her choice with her. It may be the highlight of her life-you want to share that with her. Music moves us, feeds our soul, and makes us happy.
10. Listen to her, really listen, at least once a day. Again, being listened to affirms us as human beings. Listening is love.
While you may find yourself shopping, having manicures or pedicures, or watching reality TV together, the truth is that those types of activities will not deepen your relationship. They might be fun and enjoyable but to nurture your relationship, you need to talk, to listen, and to know one another. An authentic mother-daughter relationship can be one of life's greatest joys!
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